Maybe it’s not “your” husband, father, or son, but I’m pretty sure the mothers and wives of the officers who killed Oscar Grant, Sean Bell, Eric Garner, John Crawford, and Mike Brown felt the same way. I’m sure that the woman who raised Theodore Wafer, who murdered Renisha McBride, didn’t think she was raising a murder. I’m sure just like you they taught them to be kind to all people and to be upstanding citizens. I’m sure they didn’t talk about race because hey it’s not that big of a deal anymore, right?
Wrong! To start raising your children to be color-blind is insulting. There is no shame in being a person of color, and saying that you don’t see my color means you don’t really see me. You don’t see my history. You don’t see my culture. You don’t see the daily struggles that my skin color causes. You’re not helping me. Honestly you’re helping yourself when you say you don’t see color. It means you don’t have to acknowledge the privileges that your skin color affords you. It’s easier to parent this way because then you don’t have to teach your children about racism. You aren’t forced to have hard conversations.
It also means that your children grow up never truly seeing their privilege, and seeing no reason to fight against systematic/institutional racism. It means that the only things they learn about race come from the biased media (ie television and movies).